it's here!

i shouldn't say it yet, for fear of cursing it, but.....

can you hear it!?!


frogs are croaking away as i drive down the road.....

when i walk out to my car at 6.30am, one or two birds are welcoming the morning...

the wet earth smells rich from rest of winter and is ready to produce life....

i got to wear my bright royal blue trench jacket today...

and the fog... oh glorious, dense blue fog that rolled across the road tonight.
it crept up from the bay and ocean and followed me home.
(i am praying for a delay- because we have fog delays here on the shore. isn't it wonderful!)

yes, my friends, spring is making its slow appearance this week. the first sign is the frogs.


another wonderful note about my drive home from berlin.
i drove through downtown berlin, past rayne's reef. the little diner was lit up and lots of people were inside chatting and talking, eating rayne's wonderful burgers. tuesdays are half price burgers. i don't like eating cow. its makes me sad, but rayne's bugers are THE BEST you have ever eaten. better then in and out. uh huh, thats right, i said it. better then in and out.

yumm.... i'm hungry.

for my southern friends..

like sienna and michael..

curse student teaching.

curse the demand of HAVING to be there.

rachel, you say, you were just trying to positive about the whole experience!

yes i was. and i am. but... there's this thing called the hangout music festival. it's in alabama, at the beach. AND RAY LAMONTAGNE will be there. as well as...

ok go, john legend, BEN HARPER, alison krauss and union station, flaming lips and matisyahu.


um, hello!

take me! take me!!!

just another reason why i need to move south.

point out hte good things too....

I'm going to take this moment to procrastinate a bit more and tell you about the good thing that happened today. I am naturally pessimistic when it comes to myself, a disease i contracted at an early age that i just can't shake.

but in a weak but amiable effort to change that, i am going to share the good thing that happened today in hopes that i might be a bit more positive and not so depressed.

dr. jenne, my methods professor from salisbury university came out to my school to observe my teaching. i knew he was coming but anxiety had the best of me. i was afraid he was going to tell me that i was aweful and that i needed to leave the program. (see, i told you i am naturally pessmistic then it comes to myself.)

but, he said he was impresed by my presence in the classroom, that my plans for stations were great, that i was helping out students, and that i dismissed the kids, not the bell.

he had only one tiny suggestion which will only help me out.

i am RELIEVED.

i wish i felt more satisfied about it all. i wish i still didn't feel so depressed. i have very little reason to be. oh well.

i am RELIEVED.

now to planning tomorrow......

walking through the flames

today i went to bayshore community church in gumboro, delaware. i really like it there. everytime i go i feel uplifted/convicted/eyes opened. today pastor tice wrapped up his sermon on stress. (!!!) he discussed how we tend to make mountains out of mole hills. he said we need to compare our situation to the big picture and decide how life threatening it actually is.
he used hte illustration of shadrach, meshach, and abednigo. these men's lives were actually threatened. they were going to die a most painful death.

then, another man was seen walking around with them. there were three and now there are four!
the Son of God was in the fire pit with them! just as he was with them, He is with you and me.

Isaiah 43-

1

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine.

2

When you pass through the water, I will be with you; in the rivers you shall not drown. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned; the flames shall not consume you.

I feel as though i am drowning. i can't keep up. but it is okay. because i am His, and He is mine. He is with me. i am not drowning. He is my life-preserver. whatever comes, whether i fail out the education program or i squeek by, i find a teaching job in a private school or a public school, i work at pier 1 or the federal government, i will live and thrive, i will not drown, i will not die by consumption of fire. He was with shadrach and his brothers, and He is with me. He has redeemed me, He has called me by my name, He has called you by your name, we are His.

i understand now

i just read over krissy robins last blog...

now i understand.

the breaking point, the exhaustion, the never-ending planning, yet you feel like you haven't down enough.

its exhausting. especially to us perfectionists.

is there over a sense of reaching a point where you don't have to stay up till eleven at night and get up at five thirty?

IS THERE A POINT TO THIS?

i know i have only twelve more weeks... but friends, twelve more weeks feels like an eternity.

i don't want to quit. i've quitted to many times before. i am NOT quitting.

Be my Rock and My Fortress, Oh Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!