'ello!

so! i am now a fifth grade teacher at holly grove christian! crazy. never thought i'd be here. i love it so far! of course i haven't run into any issues, yet. but its great!

love is watching someone die

The death cab for cutie song" what sarah said' actually came true for me this past thursday morning. My mom came upstairs to say her brother rick was not doing well, doctors thought it was a.stroke, and my cousin, amanda, told her that she needed to come up.this was @ eleven on wednesday night. I made a call.for.my work and hopped in the car. We made it to pinnacle hospital in harrisburg in 3.5 hours.@ 2:15 am, When amanda came down to get us at the lobby of.the hospital with red eyes I knew it wasn't good. We got up to the 7th floor and mom saw her uncle rich( we have ALOT of Richards in my family seven : to be exact.) She hugged him and lost it. We walked into the waiting room with red eyes staring @ us like oh no they don't know yet .. grief hung in the air like a thick fog. My aunt k, my mom's brother's (rick) took us to his room. And there on the bed lay my uncle rick, looked like he was sleeping with exception of the tube in his mouth. It seemed that we had to do was shake him andhe would wake. He just looked tired.mom and i talked.to.him, held his hnds, kissed him, asked him to wake but ... I hated calling my sister @ three am that our uncle was not going to wake. H asked what did the doctors say? Are you sure he wont wake? There is not a chance? He had a bleed on the brain probably due to a stroke and was not going to wake... the nurse said the ct scan was impressive as in impressive how much damage was done. The respirator was breathing for him but his heart with all its troubles marched on. And this is when I was reminded of that death cab song... and I rationed my breathes/ as I said to myself/ that i'd already taken too much today/ ... every beat on the lcd took you a little further away from me. Thursday morning, my aunt and cousin, R, after consulting anoher time with the neurologist that there was no sign of recovery, took my uncle off the respirator. We gathered around, prayed, sang amazing grace and watched him slip away. It was amazing to see the color change.. what bothers me.is that both of his daughter in laws lost their fathers in tragedy and @ young ages. His granddaughters will not have grandfathers. I lost my grammam @ the youngest age and H and i lost our grandpa when h was three, the oldest granddaughter 's age. Its just plain aweful. I regret not getting up to his classroom to see him teach.you see we are both history teachers. Why didn't I go?

I aplogize this so out of order and grammatical incorrect...I'm typing on my phone.. I'll go on the computer to fix later.

I went back in the room by myself andprayed, and outloud pleaded the blood of Jesus to wake him. But as my cousin, his son, would later say, God called him home. He had been a faithful servant, he had fulfilled his purpose, and uncle rick had brought glory to God. He had called him home. My uncle had such health issues.. now he does not have pains, no more insulin, no more fear if stroke,and he can eat whatever he wants. Never before have I wanted to go to heaven so bad... I
told my uncle to say hello to my grandparents .. I just want to be with all my family where fear
and pain and tragedy can no longer get to us. It makes that song by switchfoot so much.more true to me... I don't belong here... I will carry the cross and song where I don't belong.

new chapter..

New chapter on life.. I am SO READY for a new chapter. I wish this chapter would take me off the shore but new experience is a new one. I will be a fifth grade teacher at an undisclosed school. Stories will ensue. I am nervous to have 23young faced staring at me, relying on me for their education (not to mention the parents of said children paying to send their children to undisclosed school). Kids are like clay- and are formed by those with whom they.come.in contact with. Good and bad. O am terrified that an un-Christ like things will come out of my mouth. I am worried that I will not challenge them enough. But as I type, I can hear the key words "I" and " worry". My biggest wekness. What I need to put into place is The Lord and has control. I just need to fall on face and ask for His wisedom. He will give as He has done.

good stuff

a huge fan of these guys. the black keys. yup, just two guys. a drummer and a guitarist. and they can rip. it. up.

they have a new album just released this... spring i think. maybe it was summer. but its AWESOME! its called brothers. you should check it out. its real rock and roll. the stuff that should be played on the radio much more. but since pop culture loves fake hip hop( note that i said fake, cause the stuff on the radio ain't the good stuff) i will just have to listen to the black keys on my ipod, grooveshark.com and pandora.com



they guys are pretty good too. i like real rock and roll. they put on a pretty good show too. no running away from birds either.

oh yeah, i graduated.

just a little thing.

just framed my diploma yesterday. weird!

isn't she lovely?

i found this on our computer... isn't she just gorgeous!!!

Josh & Britney

For Kelly

These are the yummmmm-but-not-chemically-filled-oreos for tummies.enjoy!
1 1/4 cups of flour
3/4 cup of dutch processed cocoa ( i use hersheys, is that dutch processed?)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
5 tbsp unsalted butter ( i use whatever is in the fridge)
2/3 cup light brown sugar, packed
1 large egg

whisk together flour cocoa baking soda and salt; set aside. in another bowl, stir butter, sugar and egg. add dry ingredients. dough will form, and be pretty dry.

divide if needed, roll out between parchement paper ( wax paper works, just don't use flour as it will spot the dark cookie)to 1/4 inch thickness or thereabouts. refrigerate for 30 minutes. ( i found that sometimes the dough does not need to be refrigerated)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

cut cookies ( approx 2 in. in diameter) with scalloped or smooth round cookie cutter. bake 8-10 minutes, checking for firmness, and fragrance. cool on rack.

For cream filling....

4 tbsp of unsalted butter
1.5 cups of powdered sugar
.25 cups of sugar
2 tsps of vanilla
Beat with electric mixer until smooth.
*** store in frig for five days****
Could add peppermint extract to cream instead of vanilla!

well 'ello friends!

its been a loooong time since i've posted. student teaching has taken over my life... and i have only eight more days with the hooligans. Praise the Lord!!! I picked up my graduation camp and gown saturday. as i was walking on campus, i spotted, well, rahter ran into- three groups touring the school. as i carried my cap and gown- at the other end of the spectrum of the college experience then these incoming freshmen, it gave me moment to reflect on my experiece.
I am sitting here typing in the lab whihc is now open 24 hours for those of us who cram things in to the last minute... i am here because we no longer have copies at hte high school so now i have to print all things here. super.
I hated this university and all colleges for that manner for quite some time. now i'm kind of fond of this university. do you knwo what they have in one of the offices? coffee and creamre etc. for all those who are staying up late!! is't that nice?
i think it is.
though i'm really glad taht the only paper i had to stay up till five in hte morning was done at the shelton household when hannah and i were pet sitting. much more comfortable.
okay well i ahve to get up at o- dark hundred. good night!

it's here!

i shouldn't say it yet, for fear of cursing it, but.....

can you hear it!?!


frogs are croaking away as i drive down the road.....

when i walk out to my car at 6.30am, one or two birds are welcoming the morning...

the wet earth smells rich from rest of winter and is ready to produce life....

i got to wear my bright royal blue trench jacket today...

and the fog... oh glorious, dense blue fog that rolled across the road tonight.
it crept up from the bay and ocean and followed me home.
(i am praying for a delay- because we have fog delays here on the shore. isn't it wonderful!)

yes, my friends, spring is making its slow appearance this week. the first sign is the frogs.


another wonderful note about my drive home from berlin.
i drove through downtown berlin, past rayne's reef. the little diner was lit up and lots of people were inside chatting and talking, eating rayne's wonderful burgers. tuesdays are half price burgers. i don't like eating cow. its makes me sad, but rayne's bugers are THE BEST you have ever eaten. better then in and out. uh huh, thats right, i said it. better then in and out.

yumm.... i'm hungry.

for my southern friends..

like sienna and michael..

curse student teaching.

curse the demand of HAVING to be there.

rachel, you say, you were just trying to positive about the whole experience!

yes i was. and i am. but... there's this thing called the hangout music festival. it's in alabama, at the beach. AND RAY LAMONTAGNE will be there. as well as...

ok go, john legend, BEN HARPER, alison krauss and union station, flaming lips and matisyahu.


um, hello!

take me! take me!!!

just another reason why i need to move south.

point out hte good things too....

I'm going to take this moment to procrastinate a bit more and tell you about the good thing that happened today. I am naturally pessimistic when it comes to myself, a disease i contracted at an early age that i just can't shake.

but in a weak but amiable effort to change that, i am going to share the good thing that happened today in hopes that i might be a bit more positive and not so depressed.

dr. jenne, my methods professor from salisbury university came out to my school to observe my teaching. i knew he was coming but anxiety had the best of me. i was afraid he was going to tell me that i was aweful and that i needed to leave the program. (see, i told you i am naturally pessmistic then it comes to myself.)

but, he said he was impresed by my presence in the classroom, that my plans for stations were great, that i was helping out students, and that i dismissed the kids, not the bell.

he had only one tiny suggestion which will only help me out.

i am RELIEVED.

i wish i felt more satisfied about it all. i wish i still didn't feel so depressed. i have very little reason to be. oh well.

i am RELIEVED.

now to planning tomorrow......

walking through the flames

today i went to bayshore community church in gumboro, delaware. i really like it there. everytime i go i feel uplifted/convicted/eyes opened. today pastor tice wrapped up his sermon on stress. (!!!) he discussed how we tend to make mountains out of mole hills. he said we need to compare our situation to the big picture and decide how life threatening it actually is.
he used hte illustration of shadrach, meshach, and abednigo. these men's lives were actually threatened. they were going to die a most painful death.

then, another man was seen walking around with them. there were three and now there are four!
the Son of God was in the fire pit with them! just as he was with them, He is with you and me.

Isaiah 43-

1

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine.

2

When you pass through the water, I will be with you; in the rivers you shall not drown. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned; the flames shall not consume you.

I feel as though i am drowning. i can't keep up. but it is okay. because i am His, and He is mine. He is with me. i am not drowning. He is my life-preserver. whatever comes, whether i fail out the education program or i squeek by, i find a teaching job in a private school or a public school, i work at pier 1 or the federal government, i will live and thrive, i will not drown, i will not die by consumption of fire. He was with shadrach and his brothers, and He is with me. He has redeemed me, He has called me by my name, He has called you by your name, we are His.

i understand now

i just read over krissy robins last blog...

now i understand.

the breaking point, the exhaustion, the never-ending planning, yet you feel like you haven't down enough.

its exhausting. especially to us perfectionists.

is there over a sense of reaching a point where you don't have to stay up till eleven at night and get up at five thirty?

IS THERE A POINT TO THIS?

i know i have only twelve more weeks... but friends, twelve more weeks feels like an eternity.

i don't want to quit. i've quitted to many times before. i am NOT quitting.

Be my Rock and My Fortress, Oh Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

minus one

we were missing one sister....

supervisors

i am student teaching at a school forty minutes away (yeah, forty minutes, what?)

my supervisor came out today to do my midterm evaluation. ( which turned out to very good, but thats not my story here.)

my sixth period class (end of the day, we all are tired) the kids asked me if my parole officer came out to see me.



i said what?


your parole officer!


my supervisor?


yeah, your parole officer.


oh, okay. yes he came.



so, my supervisor will now be refered to as my "parole" officer.


ah, the eighth grade.

unattractive

ya know what is really unattractive?

complaining, not just complaining, but whining boo-hoo-ing about nothing really.


super unattractive.


also, cursing.


sometimes those four letter and five letter words slip out, but listening to other people use them is just super aweful.


yuck.

fearless

i just love taylor swift's newly released "fearless".

/ you take my hand and drag me head first/ fearless..

/i would dance with you in a storm/ in my best dress/ fearless

i don't know why but its just super cute and fun and makes me feel younger:)

songs that make you feel younger are always good!

Sienna and Michael '10

i just love these shots.

Pearl Harbor

Tomorrow is the 68th anniversary of that infamous day. Over 2,200 Marines and soldiers died that day. Pray for our Armed Forces!

Michael- U.S. Army
Rick- U.S. Navy